gu.e: what's left out

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The other day, I received the latest edition of my undergrad’s alumni magazine. Inside the front cover I encountered this photograph of a recent graduation ceremony:

Though I doubt the man to the right is truly upset, he looks angry enough to push off the speaker off the stage or to start throwing those flag poles like javelins into the crowd.

Here’s a close-up:

There’s some serious wrath burning in those eyes. That, or he’s seeing dead people. My question to you is, “What was he thinking?”

“Curse that burrito!”

“I look stupid in this baggy velvet dress!”

“I need a stiff drink.”

“My life is a yawning abyss.”

Please make us all laugh by sharing your own creative captions in the Comments section.

Bless his heart.