â€œI didn’t sleep well,â€ she said.
â€œYou look like a corpse,â€ I said.
Judging by the look on her face, she didn’t find my remark funny. I decided to try again.
â€œAnd you have dumpster breath.â€
She rolled her eyes and went to the sink to brush her teeth.
0 for 2. I can fix this, I thought.
I went in for a hug.
â€œNo! No hugs for you, Mister.â€
I usually exercise more tact. After all, I did grow up with a mom and two sisters. My judgment must have been muddy because of the early hour. At anytime after 9am, I would have been able to recite a long list of things you shouldn’t say to women.
Marriage Lessons learned: No edgy humor attempts before 9am; corpse and dumpster references unappreciated any time of day.