gu.e: what's left out

Comments Off on Things You Shouldn’t Say to Women

I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day. Megan came in. Her face was pale, and her eyes were red.

“I didn’t sleep well,” she said.

“You look like a corpse,” I said.

Judging by the look on her face, she didn’t find my remark funny. I decided to try again.

“And you have dumpster breath.”

She rolled her eyes and went to the sink to brush her teeth.

0 for 2. I can fix this, I thought.

I went in for a hug.

“No! No hugs for you, Mister.”

I usually exercise more tact. After all, I did grow up with a mom and two sisters. My judgment must have been muddy because of the early hour. At anytime after 9am, I would have been able to recite a long list of things you shouldn’t say to women.

Marriage Lessons learned: No edgy humor attempts before 9am; corpse and dumpster references unappreciated any time of day.