Category Archives: pranks

Boys Will Be Boys

When my soon-to-be best friend Hunter moved into the house three doors down, we both acquired the brother that neither of us had. We found a partner in crime. When the Little Harpeth River flooded in the late March and April, we would sneak the pool floats out of my garage and raft down the […]

Teaching Burton to Fly

My dad has four brothers and sisters, and the five Church siblings procreated like good Protestants: I have two sisters and ten first cousins. Burton was the youngest by three years. We made up a game called Dart Wars in which we broke into two teams and shot one another with Nerf guns. The game […]

Failed Prank

It happened either my freshman or sophomore year of college. I had driven to an area of Nashville called Bellevue to play kill my friends on Playstation 2. I sat waiting to turn left at a stoplight when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Perhaps fifty yards to my right, two […]

Need a good prank?

If you’d like to entertain yourself at the expense of your friends, then try one of my favorite pranks. Here’s the recipe: 1) Sign up your friends for Joel Osteen’s daily devotionals. 2) Casually introduce Joel Osteen into the conversation: “I saw Joel Osteen on the television at the gym the other day and I […]

April Fool’s, Men’s Feelings, and Warped Humor

Every year on April Fool’s Day, my dad tells a lie. Of course on that particular day of the year, we don’t call them lies. We call them “jokes” or “pranks.” This technicality in nomenclature is supposed to annul the victim’s anger, deflate it like a red balloon. “Can’t you take a joke?” the perpetrator […]

Bless His Heart

I don’t think he was the one responsible for naming the high school girls’ bible study that his wife led, but he didn’t anticipate a problem with the name Just Us Girls. Before long, he started using an abbreviation to make announcements, J.U.Gs, and after listening to him give details about J.U.Gs. meetings for a couple of weeks, I had to intervene.

Olive Oyl, Naked Buttocks, and Breaking Rules

As several of us were walking into the bathroom, he held up his hand to stop us and said under his breath, “Watch this.” He walked up to one of the urinals, dropped his shorts and boxers, and stood there with his back to the entrance. For the next five minutes, he remained in that position.

Aspiring Pervert at Subway

What I had seen was a man who had just set on fire one of the major nerve centers in his body because he wanted to play exhibitionist on a Monday night doubled over in pain as he returned to his getaway car.

Crap Artist, Literally

You never know what to expect at a Christian school. You could be un- or pleasantly surprised, depending on how warped your sense of humor is.

Naked Bike Wreck

If, rather than bullets, Russian Roulette involved drinking the hair stripped from a hair brush then submerged in eight ounces of water, then it would be the same as Farkle. My favorite Farkle consequence of all time was put into action on a Spring night in 2007 by my friend and roommate at the time, Greg Hill, .