August 18, 2011 – 12:16 pm
My wife Megan has a gift for â€œnesting,â€ and she was the one who introduced me to this term, which I take to mean a knack for making a place inviting and comfortable. At the end of July, we moved into a new house, and within a few days, she had found a place in […]
For Fourth of July weekend, Megan and I drove up to Lake Erie in Ohio. We stopped for gas in one of those cute, if forgettable, towns with a row of storefronts on each side of the main drag and one traffic light. We laughed at a restaurant called Pizza Explosion. How could that name […]
Put the word â€œMeetingâ€ in the Subject line. Or, even better, why don’t you clarify? Instead of â€œMeeting,â€ try a more precise word or phrase: â€œboring,â€Â â€œwaste of time,â€ or â€œmind-numbing recitation of stale information.â€ Also, if I see â€œFwd:â€ in the Subject line, I delete the email immediatelyâ€”without opening it. A child in North […]
January 28, 2011 – 2:10 pm
Why is it that every barbecue has a smiling, winking, or otherwise jovial pig pushing pork? What’s with these masochistic mascots?
December 23, 2010 – 3:11 pm
Do your family and friends a big favor, and try not to confuse sending this holiday email forward with spreading Christmas cheer
August 31, 2010 – 11:37 am
One of the few pursuits that I love as much as flyfishing for trout on remote rivers and lakes is traveling. I have visited twenty countries, and I tell you that to establish my credibility. Yet, most people think they are expert travelers. We Americans are experts in everything, and thanks to this mentality, I have the privilege of standing in line and watching people pat their pockets and fumble around in their carryons for their boarding passes and Ids.
August 17, 2010 – 10:38 am
When I slide the bolt in the gas station bathroom door, drop my shorts, lower my backside to the porcelain, and let out a sigh of relief only to feel the residual heat of prior fecal activity, I do not feel kinship with my fellow man. I canâ€™t help but imagine a huge butt completely enveloping the toilet, rolling off either side like a great mass of hairy, veiny biscuit dough.
You mean to tell me that you cannot find a single attractive woman in a city of roughly 180,000 people, 46,000 of which are women between the ages of 20 and 34, not counting the population growth since the last census in 2000?
Also posted in comic relief, dating, girls, masculinity, pet peeves, romance
Tagged asking girls out, Barley's, chronically single, how to get a date, Knoxville, most attractive student body
January 15, 2010 – 5:30 pm
No advertisement can be better than a bad advertisement. This gem will remove all doubt.
January 8, 2010 – 5:35 pm
So what youâ€™re telling me is that if I call MortgageHelpNow.org, then youâ€™ll help me lose my house even faster.