Tag Archives: David Lipscomb High School

Advice to Plagiarists

Back in 2006 I was teaching English at David Lipscomb High School, and my juniors were spending time in a special circle of purgatory known as “Research.” At eight to ten pages, these papers were the longest that most of them had ever attempted. The smaller assignments and grades leading up to the paper and […]

Thank your teachers

The English program at David Lipscomb High School was rigorous, to say the least. Miss Smith and Miss Tracey, my favorite and most demanding English teachers, were legends. Miss Tracey also taught Latin, and when it came time to conjugate a verb, she always chose “neco,” which means “to kill.” This was exactly what a […]

Cheerleading Tryouts

During my sophomore or junior year of high school, someone decided to turn cheerleading tryouts into a hazing ritual. The decision maker must have been either the principal or the athletic director because I doubt the cheerleading coach volunteered her future charges for solo performances in front of the entire student body. Staging mass social […]

I just want to be friends

Just tell her you’re not interested and watch the pain and embarrassment of rejection register in her eyes. Don’t soften the blow. Don’t put sugar in the vinegar. Tell her the truth, and even though she might hate your guts for awhile, she’ll come to appreciate your courage.

Self-Sabotage: Be Careful with the Camouflage

I’m confident that all three of those students are remarkable in some way. I just hope that they don’t sabotage their originality long enough to bury it.

Men do not shop, we snipe

We thrive on the thrill of the hunt, haggling and dickering, campaigning for lower prices and ferreting out unbelievable bargains.

The Toast

My dating history is a mashup of triumphs and failures. My longest relationship to date was a nine-month soiree with a lovely young woman named Lindsay. I remember the very first time I saw her. She was walking through the rows of cardio equipment at the Maryland Farms YMCA. I was running on a treadmill […]

Tape Ball to the Face

One of the crowning achievements up to that point in my life was knocking a squirrel out of a tree with a rock. It fell off the branch, hit the ground, popped up without the slightest trace of embarassement, and ran right back up the tree.  Throwing one object at another seems to be hardwired […]

Shame on me

In honor of April Fool’s Day, I’d like to list some of the pranks and mischief that I’ve orchestrated in years past: High School 1) Stealing the ball from Coach Tillman’s mouse so that it wouldn’t work. Once he discovered what was happening, he asked for a backup from Phil Sanders, the IT guy at […]

Thanks, defective DNA!

Thanks to genes inherited from my mother’s side, I often get food caught in my throat. I have to eat slowly and chew consciously. My mom and grandfather have the same problem. Eventually, a doctor will run a scope down my throat and ask me why I waited so long to get surgery. “Well, because […]